A Jewish Recipe for Relationships

An Illustrated Guide to Cultivating Meaningful Relationships

Chag Sameach ✡️

I am sharing a Jewish recipe for relationships recipe with you today on Shavuot, when we celebrate the Jewish people's relationship with the Torah and G-d. Shavuot commemorates the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai and is traditionally marked by studying Torah, reading the Book of Ruth, and enjoying dairy foods

I’m the kind of person who views life as a recipe. With structure, clarity, and a step-by-step approach, I thrive. I believe in considering the ingredients and behaviors needed to achieve a goal.

Since October 7th, my world has felt smaller, and a profound loneliness has settled in. Yet, I've found that leaning into relationships—spending time with my friends and family—has been my lifeline.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote “Just as in Megillah Ruth, tragedy and loneliness are healed by acts of loving kindness, so have the isolation of so many of us been healed by acts of loving kindness. Chessed has a redemptive quality. It transforms tragedy into some form of celebration and despair into some powerful form of hope.”

To honor these relationships that mean so much to me, I've written a Jewish Recipe for Relationships and had it illustrated. Creating this poem and illustration was a form of art therapy for me, a way to process and focus my mind and heart on something positive amidst the darkness.

I've listed this illustration in the Jewish Food Hero Etsy shop, and in the first few weeks, some of the orders were gifts. I can see the touching gift notes people write to their friends – thank-you cards for friendship.  Here are four of my favorites.

1. "Thank you for always being there when I need you most."

2. "Your friendship means the world to me – thank you for everything these last months."

3. "Thank you for your constant support and understanding."

4. "Your kindness and friendship have made all the difference."

Here is the recipe:

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Begin with Ahavah (אהבה - Love & Loyalty). This is the foundation, the deep-rooted commitment that binds us to one another.

Add Rachamim (רחמים - Compassion). Compassion softens our interactions and helps us understand each other’s struggles.

Combine with Chesed (חסד - Loving-Kindness). Acts of kindness create warmth and a sense of belonging.

Infuse with Emunah (אמונה - Faithfulness & Steadfastness). Steadfastness builds trust and reliability in our relationships.

Balance with Emet (אמת - Truth). Truth ensures that our connections are honest and genuine.

Sweeten with Tikvah (תקווה - Hope).  Hope brings positivity and optimism to our interactions.

Sprinkle with Simcha (שמחה - Joy). Joy adds lightness and celebration to our lives together.

Steep in Z'man (זמן - Time). Time deepens our bonds and allows relationships to grow and flourish.

Add Mechila (מחילה - Forgiveness) and Savlanut (סבלנות - Patience), as needed. Forgiveness and patience heal wounds and smooth over conflicts.

Keep warm over the consistent flame of a Neshamah (נשמה - Soul) connection. A soul connection keeps our relationships spiritually enriched and meaningful.

Treasure the Bracha (ברכה - Blessing) of relationships. Cherish the blessings that these connections bring into our lives.

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I hope this recipe brings you a moment of appreciation for the good people in your life and the beautiful relationships you’ve nurtured.

Am Yisrael Chai 🕊️

Kenden